Maybe a month ago I did a post about stressing over the things you can’t control. I admitted to being someone who worries about the unforeseen. I mentioned planting my worries and even sorrows into the earth to see if they would bloom into something beautiful.
However I live in an apartment complex and I might need to move into a house before I start my own garden of thoughts.
So what have I been doing to keep myself calm??
Painting. I’ve been taking an intro to painting class twice a week at my school. (Go Spartans) Oddly enough it keeps my nerves in check. What’s funny is before I started painting I was taking pottery. Which I loved, but my nails didn’t love it. Soon after that I took glass fusion where I toyed around and made some plates. Glass Fusion is a craft I think I would like to refine. I made some pretty great things for an amateur.
Painting is doing the same thing for me as pottery and glass. It giving
a place to put all the extra energy I’ve been using to worry about needless things.
Art for me is Therapy and I’m sure loads cheaper than going to sit on someone’s couch for a conversation.
How do you express yourself? How do you use negative energy to turn it into something positive?
2013 was the year I found apart of myself. I found love, laughter, happiness, and heartbreak, all in 365 days. According to Facebook I’ve only had 20 great moments worth remembering. I thought I would share what these moments were.
- I had silly adventures finding organic lady apples, hanging out with a guy and his bird, and walking up Bay Shore.
- Celebrated my mother turning another year wiser.
- My bestie didn’t want to be a ride or die chick, instead she wanted to be a go to work and call you later chick 😉
- In mid-February I displayed random positive thoughts out into the universe
- Late March Lauren C came home and we partied like adults and not college girls at MacDinton’s Irish Pub…lol
- Early April Lisa and I took on the Pilipino Festival. Tired some traditional food, watched some beautiful performances, and bought a few keepsakes.
- Spent some time with my face man (Little Reggie)
- Attending my pre-graduation event.
- And in May although I had already received my AA Diploma, I still walked the stage.
- Thanks Family and Friends for their support
- Got final grades in, which were all B’s
- Attending Lauren E’s graduation and met the family.
- In June I started interning at Creative Loafing.
- I celebrated turning 28 with friends, drinks, a new tattoo, and brunch… I also fell in love
- Went on a tour of The Ledger Media Group.
- Made the Cover of Creative Loafing
- In October I became a part of the walking dead and attacked my mother.
- Had my heartbroken and spent 2-3 weeks being very EMO
- Finally saw the Chocolate Nutcracker, now known at The Nutcracker Twist
- And Christmas Eve got a quick class on making a ring, attending a festive Holiday Party, and attending Art After Dark.
At the end of each year many of us seem to reflect on what was and what to do next. I, like many others do the same thing. I try hard not to focus on the friendships that were lost, the heartbreak that was felt and the nights of sleep I missed due to stressing over things I have no control over whatsoever. Life is an ever growing and changing internal process. All we can do is strive to do and be better. Fight for the dreams we have and prove to ourselves that we are worth more than what we may think. Stop allowing others to treat you like you are dispensable, YOU AREN’T. Value you, the person you are and align yourself with positive people who are doing positive things.
So what did I take from this year? Mostly that I have a great inner circle of friends. That the things or people we want aren’t always what we need. As I end this chapter on 2013’s 365-days I resolve to take things day by day, to not allow the little things get under my skin, and to release the negative things and people as so that I don’t carry that into the following year.
Happy New Year’s All.
Almost 2 but not Quiet
Turning 28 is just another reminder of how close I am to turning 30. In my teens I use to revel in the thought of my birthday coming; homemade funfetti birthday cakes, old fashioned bar-b-q and family and friends.
In my twenties it feels more like the impending doom to a dawn I do not long to see. There is this rush to achieve all the goals that I have set for myself before my third decade arrives. Looking back I was convinced that by this age I would be married to actor Lee Thompson Young (Rizzoli & Isles on TNT), finished with school, and happily set in my career as a writer- living peacefully.
But the road to success seemed ever so long, at least that’s what I thought until I read Joshua Fields Millburns observations and insights in his essay “30 Life Lessons from 30 Years”
“Success is perspectival. I used to think I was successful because I had a six-figure job that my friends and family could be proud of. I thought the house with too many bedrooms would make me look even more successful, and so would the luxury car and the tailored suits and the nice watch and the big screen TV and all of the trappings of the material world. But I got all of that and I sure as hell didn’t feel successful. Instead, I felt depressed. So what did I do? I bought more stuff. And when that didn’t work I figured out that I had to do something else with my life, that I had to stop living a lie and start living my dreams.”
Lesson here is you definitely can’t judge a book from its cover…
How I Spent 28
So I guess there is no point to get upset and feel stressed out about the things I don’t have or haven’t accomplished yet. The key word here is YET, because in real life the amazing things are bound to happen can’t really be planned…They just happen.
28 isn’t exactly the “success” that I planned/imagined, but I’m well on my way and it’s worth celebrating.